I have decided to take the plunge. No not diving into a swimming, I have relaxed hair remember! I have decided to go on holiday alone. To some people this may seem like nothing but for me this is massive as for the first time there will not be another person to meet me at the other end. 7 days alone like a Billy no mates, with just me, myself and I in a destination I have never been to before.
Why? I hear you ask, well 4 weeks ago I came to the conclusion that my rest bites abroad and therefore experiences are currently at the hands of others due to my present fear of vacating alone. My brain goes into overdrive as it conjures up every report expressed on Crimewatch. The reality is that as a single female you have to have your wits about you, but the same applies in the place where you reside. I also have to acknowledge that the “should I stay, should I go” yoyo is at some point inevitable because as people get older more factors come into play, partners, children responsibilities and priorities. So what is the singleton mean to do?
As I breathe out the fear and inhale the acknowledgment that I need a break, my dramatic images are soon replaced by one of my favourite sounds, the wheels of my suitcase rolling on the ground coupled with thoughts of doing nothing but relaxing on a beautiful beach drinking cocktails and looking at the picturesque postcard view.
So… I fly out tomorrow.
ARGGGHHHHHHH “I will be fine” I will be fine” I will be fine” I will be fine” I will be fine” I will be fine” This is my mantra…and so it is AMEN! I am excited and stressed, the latter due to suitcase packing which has revealed that I may have a mild case of OCD. Seriously I have packed and repacked 3 times already…in one day! With no friends accompanying me, borrowing is not an option and to be honest neither is being overweight, so I’m going to have to check the suitcase again when I get in from work. There is logic in my obsession.
This isn't my suitcase, but this is how I also pack :-)
On a serious note I am looking forward to it. In order to learn more about who I am, I have decided to do the opposite of what I would normally do, which means I will not be creating a flexible itinerary or researching the island. Each day will be based upon how I feel. This is definitely going to be interesting.
I know I am not alone here, many single females want to just get up and go but feel restricted by fear and a whole host of others reasons, this I do not doubt and so I am happy to be the guinea pig. On my return I will be revealing where I went, what I did, and how I coped. From tomorrow I will be leaving Carrie Bradshaw behind and embracing Stella Payne, because like her I need to get my groove back!
Goodbye, Farewell, Auf wiedersehen, Adieu ...
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