As you all know I attended The Big Conversations this weekend, hosted by match making coach Paul Carrick Brunson. I didn’t think it was possible but ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies... he is better in the flesh. Yes he is handsome but he is also charming, funny, humble, intelligent and engaging. He also has a magnificent Aura that is hard to describe though I will say it is on light worker proportions. Some of you will get what I mean here and others won’t, which is ok, I will clarify at a later date. So in simple terms “He is all that and some”.
He stepped out on the stage and we all gushed without apology before paying full attention. “I didn’t come to tell you what to do, I came to share what I do” and he did just that through an experiential match making session. He said "There is a 4 per cent chance that we have commonality with random people we meet" and his job is to raise that to 50 per cent by identifying our values, personality and level of attraction to the person. This is important in conjunction with our personality typographies which fall into the categories of analyst, supporter, promoter and controller. After he broke each one down, he asked us all to stand up and one by one we dropped like flies as he asked questions based on our values. I sat down after “Is Christianity important to you” I believe in God but I’m spiritual and there is a difference, so I had to sit my butt down and pray that I hadn't missed out on the prize of meeting Paul Carrick Brunson’s secret identical twin brother. What? Don’t judge me, if you were there too you would have been having the same fearful thoughts.
Fourteen people were left standing and we soon learnt that they met the values and personality typography of Yemi, a single guy that Paul had spoken to earlier.
Each standing girl had to enter the stage and honestly say yes or no to the question “Are you attracted to Yemi?” nothing more, nothing less just a straight answer. The first lady found this difficult and she struggled turning him down, but the second had no problem “Yes” was her clear answer and a firmer YES came from Yemi. Ladies and gentleman there you have it...Godfather Paul’s work was done. There is a science to a perfect match which was clearly demonstrated. For years we have all been content with Cilla Black and Paddy McGuiness from Take Me Out.
"No likey, no lighty"
I will not hear a bad word said about either, but on a serious note Paul Carrick Brunson's technique is what we need. The key to a successful relationship stems beyond attraction. Yes attraction is a major part of the initial encounter however beyond that someone’s belief system, values and whether they resonate with yours are the core foundations to a strong relationship.
The Black Family was tackled next through newspaper headlines.
We all knew these headlines were not true, due to percentages and other factors embellished or hidden in the grander scheme of things. However I am intrigued by the level of damage this has caused on an unconscious level. This of course is immeasurable, however words are powerful as is the influx of the same type of (mis-) information. As a result we have all been conditioned to believe that we are what they say we are. It takes awareness and conciousness to know that we are so much more. Again the question “what do mainstream media gain from doing this?” springs to mind and the answer for me lies within my David Starkey article Ying and Yang .
Paul ended the session by giving some tips for solutions.They were as follows..
"Nothing just happens"
Write 10 things you want to stop
Write 10 things you plan to do.
"Upgrade your source of information. 93 per cent of information is gossip, upgrade you intake"
"Everyone needs to have a mentor"
"Say hi, smile, interact, touch. Compliment a man, make his day."
"Work on your self-love by doing exercises"
30 days every night sit/stand in front of the mirror naked. Look at every part.
say (Insert you name)"_________I love you".
Think about 5 things you did over 24 hours
what did you do?
what could you have done better?
What did you learn from it?
We have been on Earth for yonks, you would have thought we would have this thing called communication with self and Other locked down by now but we haven't. I'm not sure if it’s a western world thing or a whole world thing, but somewhere down the line we lost connection with ourselves to such an extent that we looked to others to "complete us rather than compliment us" (Roger Ajogbe).This is why self-love is so important, once you have it you will not need to seek validation from others. Do the homework, find YOU and honour your power.
The panel discussion with Charlene White (ITV News Presenter) Angie Le Mar (Producer/Director/Actor Comedian) O-T Fagbenle (Director/Musician Award Winning Actor), Simone Bresi-Ando (PR Expert & Founder of I’mPOSSIBLE) Tobi Okeowo (Lawyer and Motivational Speaker) Roger Ajogbe (Journalist and Social Commentator), Chrissa Amuah (Cultural Media Expert) Uche Chukwu (Journalist and Online Media Publisher) and Lanre Iroche(Editor of Outflow and Relationship Journalist) was informative, insightful and heated as most debates are, with the right level of audience interaction.
As a whole The Big Conversations event was beautiful, inspiring and informative in ways I have expressed above, but also (warning I am about to get sentimental) Paul Carrick Brunson proves to me that what I am looking for exists and is not just a figure of my over demanding imagination. I aim to have what he and his wife have and I am not ashamed to say it. I applaud them both....
I cannot end this review without mentioning that Ivy Munro have done a fabulous job. The women behind this is Tayo Arewa and she probably will not appreciate me exposing her, but I have too. Ivy Munro magazine and company was created in honour of her formidable Nan. What Tayo achieved is inspirational and the lesson that I was reminded of again (you never stop learning eh!) is that the power of self-belief should never be underestimated nor people's ability, will and want to help in manifesting your creation.
For those that didn't get to attend this time round I'm sure he will be back soon as London loved Paul and Paul loved London!
Notes:
This review is mentioned by Paul Carrick-Brunson in his Essence online column :-)
http://www.essence.com/2011/09/19/modern-day-matchmaker-what-not-to-do-if-youre-looking-for-love/
© Lisa Bent 2011
