Kinky Me

At 17 I relaxed my hair and I haven’t seen my natural hair (re-growth doesn't count) or any kind of plait since. So what made me opt for twists? Well for the first time I decided that I did not want the hassle of doing my hair on holiday. Straightening and tonging is long at the best of times, let alone in Jamaica where the sun kisses my skin whilst the sea invites me in. So my decision to wear twists was one of convenience that again turned into an experiment. 

I chose twists, kinky twists over plaits because I love dreadlocks.  I have always envisioned myself to have long locks, like Ava DuVernay's to the middle of my back by the time I have had two children. Somehow I seem to miss out the fact that you have to grow them. In my mind they will just appear at the desired length when I say so (Yep I know...I know).

Ava DuVernay and her luscious locks

The decision for kinky twists therefore was to see if dreads would suit me? How I would be perceived by others with this new look and how I would feel about myself? I gave attention to the weave in article The Weave and I  and now it’s only fair I do the same here.

As I entered the hair salon I dreaded and resigned myself to the fact that I would be there for at least 4 hours. I was pleasantly surprised when it was finished in under 3 hours. How come? I hear you silently say. Two ladies tackled my head at the same time but I must say the double bill of Maury and “You ARE NOT THE FATHER” kept me so entertained that the time flew by. I had not looked in the mirror the whole time due to this fabulous yet tacky distraction. I only remembered when she spun the chair around, too fast for doubt to creep in. I have probably said this before in past blogs but I will say it again here. I am boring when it comes to hair styles. I am not experimental at all, I like what I know and I doubt everything else. Anyway....

As I looked in the mirror for the first time I was unsure but I didn’t have the same identity confusion as I did when I wore the weave, which was a great sign.  As I walked out the salon I instantly felt a change. The men who may have broken their necks to look back before didn't give a first, let alone a second glance. I remember thinking at the time that dating may get even harder lol. I kid you not when I say I felt an air of snobbery from some of the weave wearers, like there was some sort of hair hierarchy. It's hard to explain but I generally felt like I was under the radar, connected yet disconnected. 

India Irie said “I am not my hair” which is true, though society disagrees. Hair appears to inform who you are and as a result there is what is perceived to be “work hair”. Former News of The World editor Rebecca Brooks in society’s eyes did not have this. 

Rebecca Brooks

Red, curly and “wild” she was considered to be a brazen non-conformist. Clutch Magazine this week reported Aboubakar Traoré, a Black French Stewardess for Air France, was forced to wear a wig to cover his dreadlocks to keep his job, as the company thought it was harming their image. 

Aboubakar Traoré

Who made the rules on what is considered to be acceptable? Rebecca Brooks you could say has  hair similar to mixed- race girls such as Ruby in  Hollyoaks played by Anna Shaffer and music artist Corrinne Bailey Rae. Correct me if I am mistaken but their "wild" hair appears to be acceptable, even seen as desirable, so is it the fact that Mrs Brooks hair is red and she has made no attempt to dye , tame or apologise for it that is the problem? Or are there different rules for in front and behind the camera lens? 

Anna Shaffer

Corinne Bailey Rae

The next question that popped up was "If a black women walked into work with an afro to the same volume of all the ladies I have mentioned above, would this be seen as acceptable work hair? What do you think?

Model Ya Ya Da Costa 

As I walked into work with my new style the reception was good. The two comments that stood out were “You look like an African Queen” and “Did you do that to fit in with the weed smokers when you go to Jamaica”. The first comment I have no qualms with at all, it was her honest expression but it made me think what constitutes as regal, beautiful and powerful? I am still the same person. It is not your hair that makes you a Queen but who you are, your essence and nature. I am not from English blue blood and I don’t own a crown but I am a queen, as you/we all are. 

The last comment was from a smart alec who I get on well with. He laughed whilst I looked on with a blank face. The association with dreadlocks has always been negative due to stereotypes. I now felt judged for my hair choice and for the first time contemplated the number of ways this could go against me. “I’m going on holiday and this is the hassle free option” I stressed to everyone who asked. I was aware I was explaining myself and couldn’t put my finger on why straight away.

My mum hated and still hates my hair, she said it made me look like a “ruffian” and out-poured every stereotype onto me. The one person’s opinion I care about the most, is my mum’s. Even though we disagree on everything, I really wanted her to like it. Her expressions made me feel judged and vulnerable leading me to feel as though I had to defend my decision. I know the place her views come from and they are stuck within the past colonial context that lives and breaths today through conditioning, reaction and projection. The issue wasn’t mine but I was beginning to wear it like it was. 

Off to Jamaica I went and I had a fantastic time. I was amazed at the amount of older women who wore dreadlocks, natural hair or kinky twists like mine. I do not doubt that hair type judgement exits in Jamaica also, however it appears to be more about consciousness than a weed smoking stereotype. I asked Ms Johnson who is a lawyer, why she chooses to wear her hair natural and in this way (for research purposes), she said “When I know what I know, I can no longer do what I used to do, as that would make no sense and keep me in denial.” We had a big discussion about hair relaxer, conditioning and what constitutes as beauty which tapped into how  I already felt. 

I have been of the creamy crack (Hair relaxer) for 21 weeks. The kinky twist have so far been in for 10 weeks and I have nearly 3 inches of natural hair. I feel really good. All I have been using on my hair since the twists have been in, is Extra Virgin Olive oil which has also had an impact on my skin. My spot scars have cleared up and my skin is softer than ever. I have been going to talks and natural hair shows to re-learn and get tips on how to care for my natural hair. The idea that it is “difficult” is as ridiculous as some black men saying they don’t date Black women because we are more “difficult” than other ‘races’. We don’t accept that poor excuse so why this?  

Ms Johnson’s words really resonated with me. Half of the chemicals in relaxers aren’t even labelled. So what are we really doing to our hair and bodies? Estrogen and endocrine-disrupting chemicals or EDCs are chemicals found in hair products. Although research is still ongoing, it is believed many of these chemicals are linked to reproductive effects, fibroids, premature puberty, breast cancer and hair loss to name a few. 

Source:Skn Vibes

I don’t eat meat for a reason, that reason can also apply and extend to what I put on my head. I fully understand that the hair relaxer inventor Garret Augustus Morgan, Snr (He also invented the three position traffic lights, safety hoods and smoke protectors),  found a way for our ancestors to "have more manageable hair" and a way to be (perhaps)  more accepted within a prejudice and racist society. However we live in a different era. Yes all the isms still exist but no way near to the level they had to encounter. Also there is now a wealth of products on the market providing greater selection for individual hair type. Nothing is by accident, we have kinky hair, like melanin for a reason and I am ready to embrace this fact.

There is nothing wrong with choice, but I don't think I can contiue making the same choices with the knowledge that I now know. Marcus Garvey said “Take the kinks out of your mind, instead of out of your hair” which is a powerful statement. At 17 I relaxed my hair because it's what everyone did. My decision wasn't a conscious one  at all. So now I’m on the next journey. Do I cut off the relaxed ends or should  I leave the extensions in and grow it out? I’m not sure yet, but you will know when I do.

I still feel under the radar but it doesn't matter as the fact that I feel anchored is more important. I'm still the same person, the only difference is I have divorced myself from the creamy crack. When choosing a style I remember asking my friends if braids/twists would suit me. In hindsight that is probably the silliest  question I have ever asked. "How could it not?" was the repeated replies. Braids over weave? Most definitely.. 

Say hello to kinky me :-)

Related posts:

1. The Weave and I

2. Hair Raising Issue

© Lisa Bent 2012

I WILL FOLLOW...U2

Friday night I hosted the 7^th edition of Images of Black Women Festival (IBW) at The Tricycle Theatre. The mission of this festival, which was co-founded by Slyvianne Rano, is to highlight and celebrate the achievements and presence of women who are of African descent in cinema, across the world both in front and behind the camera lens. 

I was therefore honoured to present the UK première of I WILL FOLLOW, a feature film debut by writer, producer, director and so much more Ava DuVernay. YES I/WE CAN is clearly the motto as she strives and achieves in  kicking down doors that from the outside seem to be firmly shut, not by force or underhand tactics, but through integrity, presence, creativity and content of high quality. This film was the first release by black film distribution collective African-American Film Festival Releasing Movement (AFFRM, pronounced Affirm) and I have no doubt that there will be many more.

I WILL FOLLOW is a narrative film that chronicles the day in the life of “Maye” (Salli Richardson-Whitfield) a successful make-up artist who recently lost her aunt “Amanda” (Beverly Todd) to breast cancer. Over the course of the film we see the various emotions “Maye” goes through as she remembers the person who she loves and has now lost. We also see how other people who knew her react and the dynamics this has on her own grieving process.

Things can’t replace people, though it is some of her things that triggers “Maye’s” memories, through which we, the audience see the person we never got to meet though flashbacks. The balance here is right and this effervescent, bold, sassy women comes to life in such a way that I am able to see that “Maye” is who she is primarily due to her. Music was another big influence that again was eloquently captured though debates and felt through smooth beats that overlaid different scenes,  each time forcing my head to bop and my soul to smile. The power of music is underestimated and a fact that took me out of the film to acknowledge that I miss these sounds and I miss films like this.

I WILL FOLLOW lacks the Hollywood gloss, which is a good thing. It is an honest story of love, loss and finding your way within, without the negative, stereotypical and over dramatisation of who black people are or meant to be. The relationship between “Maye” and “Troy” played by Omari Hardwick was sensitive, touching and heartbreaking, though the love within the pain was tremendously beautiful. The scene on the swings. I will not say anymore for two reasons, firstly I do not want to spoil it for those who haven’t seen the film and lastly, I have no words to fully describe the impact it deserves.

The pace and duration of the film was spot on. Grief knows nothing about time and I feel this was captured in a cleaver way though the one day, one location set up. “Maye” did not run away from her grief she stayed and so did we. People came to her and those that didn't, namely her boyfriend “Evan”, played by Blair Underwood meant that she had to make a decision as his actions affirmed the saying “You know who your friends are in times of need”.

I am aware that a few people felt the film could have “tied up a few ends” to answer some questions, I personally felt this was not needed. Everything we needed to know was there. How long “Evan” and “Maye” were together for, for example was irrelevant because he wasn’t there when she needed him the most. That’s it. 

The film as a whole reminded me of the dynamics at a funeral. Many faces, some you know, others you have never seen, but you know everyone is there for the same purpose and everyone has a story, a memory that may never be told to you. Through observation and interactions the dynamics can be seen, though the full understanding and depth may never be told. This is what I WILL FOLLOW captured for me without showing the funeral.

Refreshing, original, creative, beautifully written and shot, coupled with a great cast. This film is important and powerful. The power alone resides in the acknowledgment that this is Ava DuVernay’s personal story and transcends into the recognition that it was told and screened though the help of people who believed in the project and collaborated.  There IS value in the black voice which cannot be measured. The market is there, our stories need to be told and we need to define who we are.

Related Posts:
1.For Broken Rainbows
2.Whats love got to do with it?
3.I will Follow...U2: Film Review
4.Chance to make a Change
5.Top Boy Debate