Precious is Precious

Precious Williams’ fluid and engaging writing skills transported me, the reader into her early childhood and teenage years experiences with such vivid descriptive flair that many times I felt as though I was walking the journey with her, though as an invisible and helpless friend.

Her memoir is a transparent, reflective jigsaw puzzle that she has pieced together, enabling the reader to follow effortlessly with clarity and depth along this emotional rollercoaster ride of confusion, fear, trauma and triumph. Every page gave me a further thought or moved me in someway which is evidenced through the numerous dog ear folds and underlining that are present within my copy of the book.

In 1971 an ad was placed in Nursery World "Private foster parents required for a three-month-old baby”. Nanny, a 60-year-old white foster parent in rural England, who loves black babies due to Uncle Tom’s Cabin, applies and here is where Precious’ story begins.

The confusion, ignorance, clarity and struggles Williams encounters along the way are astonishing and heart rendering, whilst the relationship between Nanny and Williams’ mother are at times comical. The power mainly lies with her biological mother, who is a “haughty” Nigerian woman from an upper class background whose position was far removed from the status quo of England at that time. Such was her presence Williams for a long time thought “Black women ran the world”.

As a counsellor I cannot ignore the amount of self-processing Precious has gone through in order to connect the dots, become self-aware, understand and “be”. This in itself is an achievement, though to then encapsulate her journey to be read by the masses in such an engaging and coherent way is on a completely different level.

The social workers' real notes and reports are printed throughout the book, revealing a different and eerie tone to Precious’ encounters. They confirm incidences that at the time Precious found hard to make sense of due to her age, whilst also containing the attitude of authorities towards black children. One report commended Nanny for "giving this coloured girl more attention than most would”.

Her personal story transcends beyond touching those who can relate and those who empathise, as within lies qualitative data. Williams’ experience highlights so many themes and paves the way for further discussions to be had on numerous level; ‘race’, identity, the signs and symptoms of behaviour, the affects of being placed into care, the impact this has on adult years and the more recent discussions of whether adoption should be colour blind (my thoughts on this debate can be found within my past article Colour Blindness is not the way forward), need to be had.

Nanny clearly loved Precious, though love without the embracing of cultural differences had a major impact on self, self-worth and identity, as is evident within. Her story holds immense worth and can be used to inspire others who have have had similar experiences and used to help help find and incorporate new solutions for the promotion of a healthy considered adoptive system.

Her experience also furthers my belief that parents, teachers and social workers for example need to know the possible causes to the change in children and young adult’s behaviour. The signs and symptoms are there, however you have to know what the signs are in order to process what may be going on. This is an under acknowledged priority.

Captivating and heart-wrenching. Beautifully written and immensely powerful, I am glad Precious Williams shared her story.

Related Posts:

1.Colour Blindness is not the way Forward

2.Dazzled by the Stars...

3.Simon Says...

© Lisa Bent 2011

Colour-blindness is not the way forward

“Should adoption be colour-blind?” This was the question on The Big Questions this morning. It was an insightful though one-sided debate riddled in serious self-defence and closed ears. Two black people had encountered two very different experiences being raised by white adoptive parents. Both came from loving households but the impact on their identity had different outcomes. Precious Williams explained how her adoptive parents saw no differences and treated her as their own. She felt inclusive though felt totally disconnected to her ‘race’ and culture to the extent that when she saw black people, the mirror image of herself, she would hide.

Ben Douglas on the other hand had a good experience to the extent that he was unable to put himself in Precious’ shoes. He totally disregarded her experience and I felt it for her. He came across strong and unaffected though to me he seemed lost and unaware of the deeper levels Derek was trying to explain.  Each individual will have different experiences and each experience and therefore expression is valid. However Nicky Campbell  and the audience seemed only able to side with Ben, which was an almost utopian rose tinted view. Why?

‘Race’ is hard to look at; it always has been and always will be. The truth however is that racism, discrimination and prejudices exist within the society we live in, further evidenced in the fact that we have equality laws and policies, therefore the door on this discussion cannot be closed when talking about adoption as the problems within society will naturally reside here also.

Yes, every child in care should be housed within a loving family, no one is denying this is of a high importance but so is the acknowledgement of difference. These acknowledgements should not be seen in separation. The complexity of ‘race’ is vast and heavily influenced by colonialism, entangled in false beliefs, projections, introjections, anxiety, fear, guilt and shame. The term colour-blind I feel serves as avoidance and a defence mechanism to mask looking at the full complexity of the issue. The issue of ‘Race’ stems way beyond racism, there are many aspects to look at which never get the attention it deserves and so’ race’ always stops at digestible perimeters.

There have been many published materials specifically on white/black relations, where awareness of difference and diversity, racism and socio-political history and the importance of racial consciousness have been highlighted, however this knowledge never seems to transcend to other areas. There is value in findings which are taken, not only from the voices of those who have been in these situations but also the knowledge of the part history has to play and the affects on a psychology level on individuals. There are numerous documents in psychology that support my strong feelings why the colour-blind approach has no place in adoption which the government would be well advised to look at in order to put holding and ethical systems in place.

Anyone should be allowed to adopt, however this change in the system should not be based on a colour-blind approach. Avoidance and lack of importance is the place that the colour-blind term resides in. This is a place of unawareness and potential harm. Within difference there are differences, which need to addressed from   skin and hair type to culture and beyond. Colour or 'race' consciousness is the awareness and embrace of differences, diversity and acceptance of these differences. This is where everyone should be working from.  Identity matters whether you discuss it or not, so let’s start discussing it without the rose tinted glasses. 

Notes:

Recent developments in the analysis of DNA, confirms that the concept of ‘race’ is a constructed one, with no objective basis in biology. This concept as well as the notions of ‘Black’ and ‘White’ was imposed by the colonial powers. Rustin (1991) said, “It is both an empty category and one of the most powerful forms of social categorization” (Rustin, p.57). I have refered to ‘race’ in apostrophes to acknowledge the emptiness of this prescribed category.

Rustin, M. (1991) Psychoanalysis, racism and anti-racism. In the Good society and the Inner world.    London: Verco

Related Posts:
1.Precious is Precious
2.Dazzled by the stars...
3.Simon Says...

© Lisa Bent 2011