The Weave and I

I recently had a hair makeover from Black Hair magazine. I went from short to long in no time thanks to the magical hands of Dionne Smith, Sleek and women somewhere in the world who previously had long flowing locks.  I must admit, when I was told I was having a weave I was slightly reluctant. I have worn weave twice and in hindsight on both occasions, the air I graced was slightly snooty as I flicked the fake hair over my shoulder like it was mine. I looked different, I liked how I looked and this was how I responded to the new found attention. The thought now fills me with a cringe worthy dread and this is the core of my reluctance.

Eight years have passed since then and two years have past since I wrote Hair Raising Issue, my first ever blog that focused on the acceptance of weave and the perceived mainstream dislike of short and natural hair. My initial reluctance soon turned to intrigue as my thoughts and behaviour have changed since then. This blog is an honest account of my experience wearing weave, people’s reactions and my conclusions. This is about The weave and I.

I walked into Dionne’s salon like this

And walked out like this…

I actually looked in the mirror and got a shock. My reflection starring back at me wasn't me, or should I say, wasn't the me that I recognised. I looked totally different and I think for a couple of seconds my eyes and brain were confused. I looked fabulous yet felt strange. Richard Barr did a fantastic job. This was my ANTM moment and if Tyra Banks was watching I would have failed the task. I really found it hard to “switch it on”, not because I'm shy, not because I was nervous but because I didn’t know how to BE… be myself with this new accessory. Makeovers are great as you can be whatever you want, but I wanted to still be me and show me in my authentic self not alter ego or anything exaggerated. I like the main chosen picture as I see me within it when looking at my eyes. 

I went to bed dreading what my work colleagues would think as in under 24 hours I had gained an extra 22 inches of hair. The next morning I walked into the office and here is where my weekly concise diary begins…

Week one:

Those that didn’t walk past me did a double take and then stopped to say…

“Your hair looks beautiful today”

“You look beautiful”

“Omg you like Naomi Campbell, why are you working here? You should be on the catwalk”

“You’re stunning”

“Now you look like a princess”

“You look hot”

“Omg you look very beautiful”

“With long hair you look prettier; with short hair you look sophisticated”

“Very sexy”

Question: How much does hair length define what is beautiful?

Lesson: Lip gloss, weave and wind don’t go together

Huh? Bumped into my ex-boyfriend and he said that I looked like a boring Librarian who doesn’t know how sexy she is!

Funny: Why am I stroking my hair like it’s a cat?

Random: I must be the only black person who offers people to touch her silky weaved hair. Don’t get it twisted though, do not touch the tracks!

End of week thought: If I had low self-esteem I think I would have gained a complex about how I look with my short hair and as a result may choose to wear weave on a more permanent basis because the comments were so flattering. Instead I found myself re-affirming to myself and others that I was beautiful anyway and this new addition was not a permanent fixture. I also began to warmly challenge some of the comments to gain a wider perspective. Beauty is subjective however it would appear that hair length plays a large part in what attracts men to women. Caucasian women found me more attractive with long hair, whilst black women liked the long though those who knew me before, preferred the short. Men of all races loved the weave.  

Week 2:

Question: How do you successfully grease your scalp when there is a closure in the way?

Lesson: When sipping tea or eating soup you MUST flick your hair out the way or hold it- each time… this is LONG!

Huh? My level of awareness has reduced because the hair gets in my way. I have blind spots when stepping out in the road. Ha ha!

Funny: I’m shocked at the number of men who are jealous that the weave procedure cannot work for them.

Random: I have noticed the way other weave weavers look at my weave, yes the weave not me. The difference between a good weave and a bad one is evident. As a result weave envy exists as does a whole new take on the notion of “good hair”.

End of week thought: I cannot fully embrace the weave. It is part of me (at the  moment) but it is not me. “I am not my hair” said Indie which I also identify with, however the power of hair cannot be overlooked. I haven’t changed though it feels other people expect me too. Long hair is somehow associated with being a diva, in ways that dreads tend to signify someone who is conscious. I identify more with dreads due to being spiritual but as the saying goes “You don’t need to be dread to be Rasta”. I am more diva, secure, confident and the rest with short hair.

The weave and I departed after two weeks. It wasn’t quite a love affair nor was it a love/hate relationship, but it was interesting to see how I was received by others and how this new accessory made me feel. The trigger that ended the weaves life on my head was… the weave pat. I caught myself doing the wave pat...  

 source:weave pat 

and  it had to go.

Weave is fabulous for a change in appearance and the rest, however it is just not for me. I did not wear the weave with pride as a result I think it changed my personality and to strangers I may have appeared shy or awkward in a quirky  Absolutely Fabulous type of way

I know 2 major extremes. I say this as with good friends I noticed I became exaggerated in a comical way. I can’t fully explain why, the only thing that is coming up and resonating with me is that I was almost apologetic for wearing this thing that is stitched into my hair and I found the humorous side of it and damn I wished I filmed it.

There are numerous reasons why I don’t like weave on me, some I have explained within this article already, the other part is that I am slightly boring, I like what I like and whilst many see the positive’s in weaving various weaves, for me it feels like dress up, and I hate dress up. I also felt hidden, like I was wearing some sort of veil. This sounds strange but this is how I internally felt.

This has been an interesting experience and I thank Black Hair and the team for the makeover. For me there is a conclusion, however I fully acknowledge it is one based on my experience and therefore is nothing more than subjective. I love my short hair. I feel seen and I feel that my features are allowed to pop out. Everybody has a preference and I wish magazines would also represent and celebrate short hair more. Beauty (in my eyes) does not lie in length, it lies in features which the hair enhances or hides. So shine in whatever shows the best of you.

Related posts:
1. Hair Raising Issue

© Lisa Bent 2011

HAIR RAISING ISSUE

     Solange Knowles Before and Now

I was inspired to write this blog after seeing and reading the comments regarding Solange’s decision to shave her hair. I personally do not think there is anything wrong with it, but the comments have been less than complimentary. For example US artist Bow Wow apparently made his thoughts clear on Twitter saying…

“Man these chicks losing they mind, they all look like they going through something. These chicks look f*ckin retarded with this bald sh*t man. These chicks losing they mind!"

Isnt it a shame that going natural, back to roots, is considered as “going through something?” This has bugged me and so I want to look at this from the other spectrum of this hair debate, as I could argue that the need to stitch and glue hair to your head to swish it like it’s yours is someone “going through something.” It’s not viewed this way by the masses because we have been conditioned from an early age that long hair is more desirable, attractive and the misconception that it is easier to manage. Put your hands up if you had a Barbie doll when you were younger? Did you wish your hair was like Barbie’s? I did and I tried numerous times to create this look by putting pyjama bottoms on my head and flicking it about like it was my real hair. In frustration I ended up cutting the dolls hair short because I didn’t and couldn’t look like her, so although she was Caucasian, I made her look like me. Please note I was 8 years old.

We are subjected to a range of media images that depict and dictate to the masses what is beautiful, but whose ideals are we conforming too? Somewhere down a very long road we have lost not only our perception of what beautiful is but also a sense of self as we fit our unique features into European ideals. I have identified 4 types of weave that seem to be populating the streets of London...

• The Mop - The weave sits on top a nest of natural hair
• The Horse - The hair is so long it looks like a poor horse somewhere is missing a tail
• The Train Track - The tracks of glued in weave are visible for all to see
• The Helmet Head - It is obvious that the hair is a wig or a weave cap as it is either to dry or to shiny and looks like it has been plonked like a helmet onto the head.

Yes, people looks like this and see this as more desirable which baffles me. However there are also many people out there that make a weave look like it’s their natural hair, congratulations to you, but the question still remains, is there something more going on other than rocking the latest trend?


I am not here to preach. I have worn a weave twice, stitched and glued. My reason? I wanted to see what my hair would look like long as my hair has been short since I cut it when I was 17. It’s been a short cropped, Ella Fitzgerald inspired style since then. I am sure you too, at some point did it for the same reason of change. The majority of people I know, including myself, have relaxed hair which does not grow as fast as natural hair or as fast as our Caucasian counterparts, so I understand that weave provides a magic service. However, is there something else going on when a weave makes a permanent settlement on the top of your head? To such an extent that the health of your own hair is substituted for the appearance of the fake hair.

There will be I’m sure numerous answers. My intention is to provoke thought. We have been bombarded with these images so much that it has become the norm, so to truly understand the extremity of all this I am going to show you an opposite extreme on a different level.

Millions of Caucasian people every year risk gaining skin cancer due to sun worshipping. Their reason? They want to be browner/darker, have a glow. Many spend hundreds a year on fake tan products and tanning booths. In layman’s terms they are buying paint in bottles to change the colour of their skin. Doesn’t that sound absurd? If you think this is very different and in no way the same as what many are doing, I would have to disagree, as they are both image related and far removed from what they are born with.

Yes I hear you, relaxed hair is not natural, it is chemically processed and if not looked after it can damage, however personally I view this to a less extent than weave wearing, purely because I am straightening my own hair rather than adding to it.

Unlike India Irie who sang “I am not my hair” it is evident that for many their hair represents who they are and the majority speak through their weaves, which are getting longer and longer. So what constitutes as beautiful and attractive? The answer will be individual but then again am I naïve to assume this? Well I must be because a vast amount of people are following one type of look. Therefore there is a mark that has been set which consciously or unconsciously is being followed. I would love to explore this on a much deeper level that surpasses the changing fashion and hair trends to begin to look at image, identity and the power of media representations on a deeper level.

So has your opinion on Solange’s hair changed if you judged it negatively like Bow Wow? The Cassie half shaven look seems to be the new trend right now. How many will level it out by shaving the other side? Perhaps Solange is creating a new trend for 2010 which effectively will allow followers to embrace their natural locks and remember or redefine what constitutes as black and beautiful.


Related Posts:
1. The Weave and I




© 2009 Lisa Bent