Sell by date?

This morning I woke up and switched the TV on to Daybreak. I don’t know why I continue to do this, but after today my choice of an early rising wake up call, will be determined by my choice of music. I just could not believe the level of scaremongering and judgment that was coming from my TV set.

Once again the news and therefore Daybreak decided to tell us yet again that after the age of 30 years old the amount of eggs women have decreases, which means by the age of 35 it is estimated that about 20 per cent of women aged 35 to 39 are infertile, hence a greater proportion of pregnant women in this and older age groups, will have or will be undergoing fertility treatment. I am tired of “women wanting careers” being used as the only reason for this, as it is not only an insult but lacks consideration of other factors.

First and foremost as human beings we all have choices and life therefore, will be an individual concept for all of us. Just because a women has the organs that incubate a baby does not necessarily mean she therefore has to have children. What if life was not about procreation but about self-fulfilment and being all that you are first and foremost and the decision to have children was secondary? The judgement on women who want careers still has a Victorian tone which is unacceptable.

The second obvious and overlooked point I would like to make, is that many women are childless at thirty and beyond due to the fact that they have not found a partner. I am in this position and so are many of my friends. I thought children were beings made out of love and not fear, pressure and expectations. Evidently I must be wrong, hmmm perhaps I should just go out and find a man this weekend because guess what… I’m 32 this year which means I now have less than 28 per cent of my eggs left…Er no thanks.

The scaremongering needs to stop and other factors need to be considered. The biggest paradox here is that teenagers in the UK have the highest rate of pregnancies which we judge them for, yet today Daybreak promoted having children early! I’m confused. At such a young age teenagers are individuals who are still finding themselves and in some cases got pregnant by mistake, wanted a child early and well the possibilities and reasons are endless. Older adults are likely to know themselves better, be in a better position to have children and be more aware of their needs and wants, though may not have found love. Regardless of where you sit on the paradox scale, love and a long term partner/relationship may be a factor missing in both circumstances. So what do you do if you are over 30 years old and single?

Compromise by having a baby with anyone? Treat babies like a business transaction? Rely on IVF? I don’t have the ideas or answers; all I know is that one glove does not fit all. Yes we are all human beings made of the same stuff, but we are all different in the same breath and therefore how can one rule be applied to all. Am I really meant to believe that every female at a certain age has exactly X amount of eggs left?

I believe nothing for you will pass you and so rather than concentrating on what I do not have, I look forward to want I want to have. I believe in the universal laws of life and self-fulfilling prophecies, I therefore refuse to let scaremongering drive me to make decisions that are based on fear. I am not saying this is easy, after all we live in an age obsessed and fear based society and I am also aware of the natural process of the human body. However how is worrying meant to help?

Related Posts:
1.Invisible but Felt
2.Forced Statement of Love?

   
© 2011 Lisa Bent

ReSOULutions

Happy New Year everyone. It’s the 12th day of the New Year and here I am. Some would say that I'm late in posting. Am I?

Every year people use the start of the New Year to implement change, with a long list that is usually abondandoned by February or way before that. Why? In my experience the list is usually unachievable, unrealistic and lists lots of great things, but no plan of action to accompany the fabulous things written on lovely paper, in your best handwriting. I am sure at some point we have all experienced the overwhelming feelings of failure, as we reflect over what we did and didn’t do within that year.

For the majority it is this feeling that has led many to abandon resolutions all together. This is not my reason. At some point years ago, I woke up to question how wasteful and absurd it felt to reflect on my life at the end of 365 days and then on the same day, plan what I wanted for the forthcoming 365 days. A new day is born with the rising of the sun and therefore each day provides the perfect opportunity to reflect, change and implement what we want.

This yearly rite is not to dissimilar to what I call “living for the weekend” syndrome, which refers to people who are unhappy within their 9-5 positions and just look forward to getting smashed on the weekends. Alcohol and the rest are merely blocking out tools that suppress the pain and gripes for the moment. The cycle starts all over again on Monday morning. The overwhelming feeling of hope does not need to be delayed until New Years eve, which is symbolised by fireworks and unity. Everyday is a celebration, the only difference is there aren’t fireworks to mark the occasion.

I therefore see the benefits of what I will call ReSOULutions, the awareness of what is going on for you internally now, consciously acknowledging how you deal with the feelings and thoughts on an external level. I don’t care what anyone says, ignorance is not bliss. Reflection, awareness and action are the keys on the same ring holder that promotes change. Hiding the keys until the end of the year, restricts the accessibility to freewill and various choices. No choice is still a choice as existentialist would argue, but what a waste of possibilities that is.

As there is no time like the present I am not late in my posting, just as you are not late in thinking about your ReSOULutions. Move away from goals influenced by external factors and begin with internal acknowledgement and awareness.

Related Posts:
1. Moany Moany Christmas


© 2011 Lisa Bent