Give the Love back to YOU!

Source: Keep Calm-O-Matic

Valentine’s Day is [insert your own words here] if you are single. Even though it is one day, it is one that that makes you feel [insert your own words here], even though on other days you feel okay about being in the world of Singledom. Well no more I say, I know where you are at and I have expressed my views before in Forced Statement of Love?

Do not succumb to the pressure of the day, you will just end up moody and feeling sorry for yourself. Be happy for those who have found love and use the day to perhaps treat yourself by giving love back to yourself. How often do we do that?

Change the record and the rules. Yes Valentine’s Day is about celebrating your love for another but it can also be about celebrating the fact that you love yourself too, an acknowledgement that needs to be reinforced by yourself and not validated by another. Whilst I acknowledge two halves make a whole, in the context of having, building and maintaining healthy relationships I believe two whole people are better.

Rose Quartz Heart Crystals 

Being single is a great time to reflect and work on yourself. If there is something missing fill it yourself, otherwise you will always rely on someone else to fill the void and make you happy. So today be kind to yourself, do something that you enjoy and just relax. You get back what you put in, so start putting the love back into yourself and wifey or hubby will come when they too have done their internal work.

Have a lovely day today, and tomorrow and the next day.

Lots of Love

Lisa x

© Lisa Bent 2013

Forced statement of love?

There is no map, directions, estimated time of arrival or departure. It cannot be found in diamonds, pearls or any other consumer led materialistic object that happens to be heart shaped and in the colours of pink or red. The truest essence of love is free, simple, unexplainable, though felt...oh unless it is Valentines Day that is.

A day when refusing to buy into the bullsh*t could change your relationship status to single if you do not succumb to the pressure. It is also a day that singletons are likely to feel a heightened sense of loneliness. Yes, one day has the power to do all of this. Regardless of your status the mutual feeling is pressure. A pressure to do the right thing by your partner and your sanity/life and at the other end of the spectrum is a pressure for those who are single to not only show that they are able to cope with a day with no admirers, flower or thought, but also the added pressure to be happy/look happy for the several women who squeal with excitement upon receiving the biggest bouquet of flowers at work, which remain firmly in your gaze all day.

Everyone wants to be thought off and I challenge you to find a person on this earth who doesn’t like gifts. This essentially ties up Valentines Day, though combine it with the guilt undertone of “If u loved me u would" cements the success of such a day for businesses.

I therefore conclude Valentines Day is a forced statement of love. It has nothing to do with freedom of  expression or choice but driven by external demands and pressure.  There are 365 days of the year and with it more than enough time for your loved ones to show you how much they care and love you. This day seems to be less about an individual experience with your loved one and more about a collective experience of "Look what I've got" or "I'm loved because Iv'e got something". I actually find it quite funny though it's only right I acknowledge receiving something that puts a smile on your face is a lovely, appreciative gesture and the numerous motivations of why someone bought you something actually doesn't enter your head. It may well be a forced statement of love but with it I guess there is an opportunity for anyone to no longer be a secret admirer and that can only be a good thing. 

So V-Day is here and I hear the sobs, I hear the squeals of joy, oh but listen to those tills...cha ching, cha ching, cha ching!

J-Lo said....“Love don’t cost a thing” ...

....the industry would profusely disagree and so would expectant people in relationships.

P.S Congratulations to my beautiful talented friend Amma, whose longterm boyfriend David proposed to her last night, the day before Valentines day. He is one classy non conformist. Hi 5 to you. Wishing you both continued Love and happiness!

Related posts:

1.Invisible but Felt
2.Forced statement of Love?

© Lisa Bent 2011

Sell by date?

This morning I woke up and switched the TV on to Daybreak. I don’t know why I continue to do this, but after today my choice of an early rising wake up call, will be determined by my choice of music. I just could not believe the level of scaremongering and judgment that was coming from my TV set.

Once again the news and therefore Daybreak decided to tell us yet again that after the age of 30 years old the amount of eggs women have decreases, which means by the age of 35 it is estimated that about 20 per cent of women aged 35 to 39 are infertile, hence a greater proportion of pregnant women in this and older age groups, will have or will be undergoing fertility treatment. I am tired of “women wanting careers” being used as the only reason for this, as it is not only an insult but lacks consideration of other factors.

First and foremost as human beings we all have choices and life therefore, will be an individual concept for all of us. Just because a women has the organs that incubate a baby does not necessarily mean she therefore has to have children. What if life was not about procreation but about self-fulfilment and being all that you are first and foremost and the decision to have children was secondary? The judgement on women who want careers still has a Victorian tone which is unacceptable.

The second obvious and overlooked point I would like to make, is that many women are childless at thirty and beyond due to the fact that they have not found a partner. I am in this position and so are many of my friends. I thought children were beings made out of love and not fear, pressure and expectations. Evidently I must be wrong, hmmm perhaps I should just go out and find a man this weekend because guess what… I’m 32 this year which means I now have less than 28 per cent of my eggs left…Er no thanks.

The scaremongering needs to stop and other factors need to be considered. The biggest paradox here is that teenagers in the UK have the highest rate of pregnancies which we judge them for, yet today Daybreak promoted having children early! I’m confused. At such a young age teenagers are individuals who are still finding themselves and in some cases got pregnant by mistake, wanted a child early and well the possibilities and reasons are endless. Older adults are likely to know themselves better, be in a better position to have children and be more aware of their needs and wants, though may not have found love. Regardless of where you sit on the paradox scale, love and a long term partner/relationship may be a factor missing in both circumstances. So what do you do if you are over 30 years old and single?

Compromise by having a baby with anyone? Treat babies like a business transaction? Rely on IVF? I don’t have the ideas or answers; all I know is that one glove does not fit all. Yes we are all human beings made of the same stuff, but we are all different in the same breath and therefore how can one rule be applied to all. Am I really meant to believe that every female at a certain age has exactly X amount of eggs left?

I believe nothing for you will pass you and so rather than concentrating on what I do not have, I look forward to want I want to have. I believe in the universal laws of life and self-fulfilling prophecies, I therefore refuse to let scaremongering drive me to make decisions that are based on fear. I am not saying this is easy, after all we live in an age obsessed and fear based society and I am also aware of the natural process of the human body. However how is worrying meant to help?

Related Posts:
1.Invisible but Felt
2.Forced Statement of Love?

   
© 2011 Lisa Bent

What's Love Got to Do With It?

How difficult is it to comprehend that sex without protection has serious implications on not only individual health, but the health of those they are intimate with? Having watched The Joy of Teen Sex last night on channel 4 the question appears to be as hard and complex as trigonometry. As a result parents, teachers, advice workers doctors etc seem to have an impossible task on their hands. I could understand if there was no information or range of protection methods, as is the case in many poor countries, but this is not the case and as a result further heightens my anger at the stupidity and ignorance of the young, who refuse to pay attention to warnings and health risks.

It is no secret that the UK not only has the highest rate of STD’s in Europe, but also the highest rate in teenage pregnancies. Statistic’s i'm sure you will agree are nothing to be proud off. So why in one breath are young people being told of the dangers of unprotected sex and in the next, tips and suggestions given to make sex more pleasurable. Yes granted, the show allowed some young teenagers/adults to voice their concerns and anxieties, but evidently the last thing that needs to be promoted is more information on how to enjoy the intimate act.

I could only cringe at the pubescent looking naked actors, as they re-enacted the positions the sex expert explained. Am I becoming prudish in my old age? Am I alone in thinking it was unnecessary soft porn? And did anyone else have a passing thought that old horny men would be perving over seeing that? It all just felt unnecessary, I understand this view may be very different to the teenagers watching the show, but Anna Richardson’s The Sex Education Show created more of an educational insightful balance.

The one and very major point that I think everyone has missed is that within sex education LOVE and meaningful relationships no longer feature. Why is no-one asking why these teenagers feel the need to have one night stands and multiple partners? Instead this behaviour has become acknowledged as the norm and accepted. The counsellor in me cannot ignore that on what seems to be a majority consensus scale; teenagers as a collective are searching for something. Yes instant sexual gratification is obvious, but on a deeper level what is it that they are desperately looking for?

I do not have the answer to this naturally, but validation, approval and a desire to please seem central. "What’s love got to do, got to do with it?” By Tina Turner pops into my head and the answer to that is evidently NOTHING!. Sex and love have become separate. I am intrigued to know how they define love, because their idea of sex is so far removed from my own ideas and notions. Sex is an intimate act, but these kids are going around like all they are doing is exchanging and swapping DVD’s. There appears to be no rules and therefore no boundaries; this coupled with the lack self care and protection is a recipe for disaster.

Further to all of this, teenagers have got things inside out. You can never find in another, what you cannot find in yourself. Teenagers need to sit down and learn to love themselves, because with this comes instant respect, integrity, consciousness, individual and social responsibility. No one who loves themself would put themselves in such jeopardy for a moment. However I acknowledge that I am an adult looking in and as a result adults, parents, teachers, advisors are the ones that need to promote this aspect.

Related Posts:
1.For Broken Rainbows
2.Whats Love for to so with it?
3.I Will Follow...U2: Film Review
4. Chance to make a Change
5.Give to Get

©  Lisa Bent 2011

Valentine's Day Gift Guide: Part 3

Welcome to Part 3 of our Valentine's Day Gift Guide from the Etsy Twitter Team!

And Then
This kit contains materials to create 3 beautiful Valentine hearts! When the sun shines through, they look just like stained glass!


Wayside Violet
This lovely pink coffee cup cozy is hand knit with a gorgeous cable stitch. An eco-friendly alternative to disposable paper sleeves.


Firebird House
Glass gems are paired with vintage images to create a one of a kind link bracelet sure to let anyone know how much you love them!


Aquarian Bath
This is a beautiful and lovely soap scented with Rose Geranium, Camphor and Menthol. The lather is light and fluffy and it will leave you feeling clean and cool after using it.


Emmakat
Simple Valentine's Day card in Red, Gold and White. Eight groups of Gold hearts have been printed onto the card using a Gocco printer.


SafiyaBeauty
A delicious combination of chocolate therapy and aromatherapy. Creamy cocoa butter mixed with vanilla extracts form a rich and ultra moisturizing butter.


Applied With Love
Stunning pink papers overlapping one another, with hints of sparkle surrounding the heart makes this frame a true beauty! Genuine Swarovski crystal rhinestones are carefully placed atop the finest papers; all consisting of different textures and prints, yet all pink and sweet~


Jessica Doyle
This is a set of 8 handmade mini heart themed greeting cards made by me. They are so cute and are perfect for Valentine's Day!


Tanya Nichols
This is for those of you who have locked your heart safely away.


Free Forged
These earrings are the romantic side of my Molecular series. I carefully form delicate sterling silver wire into hearts and then solder them each to two smaller circles - forming a molecule of love.


Lorem & Ipsum
The cyclops is made with yarn, felt, and stuffed with polyfil. The "M" can be replaced by any letter of your choice.


Falling Leaf Designs
A 17 inch red silk choker, that can be adjusted to 19 inches, from which a glitzy 1.75 inch wide by 1.5 inch tall 3 dimensional heart woven from dozens of 6mm Swarovski crystals.


Misses Kwitty's
What a sweet old-fashioned gift for your sweety this Valentine's Day, or any day you just want to say "I Cherish You".

Natalie Callwood's Ceramics

Rustic design travel mugs - they all come with lids and are made to order with in a week . The mugs are all hand painted by me with a low fire glaze.
They're great for on the go coffee, tea , or soup.


Sumiko Shop
This candid necklace features a gold heart pendant with rose cabochon made of polymer clay, gold chain, glass pearl, rose beads made of polymer clay, and red bow.


Ela Steel
"The Lovers" is a pair of pendants created from the unusual artwork of Ela Steel.


By Light Of Moon
Each Special Hat has a magnet back and is embellished with ribbons and flowers and/or beads as the photo shows, and comes with a Special Gift Card with a nice Saying and the words ~ "SO ...... HATS OFF TO TO YOU!"


Part One of the Gift Guide
Part Two of the Gift Guide

Valentine's Day Gift Guide: Part 2

Welcome to Part 2 of the Etsy Twitter Team Valentine's Day Gift Guide! We have plenty more goodies in store! Happy shopping!

Sacred Sparks
These earrings are dedicated to all who allow their tears to flow for LOVE. LOVE of all kinds, it matters not, for those tears are the waters that will HEAL our troubled souls and world. May we all cry for LOVE.


Chicken Scratch
Champagne Soy Massage Candle: Spoil your sweetie this Valentine's Day with a champagne scented massage! Nothing's more romantic than candlelight and some hands-on attention.


Created By Risa
A mix of metal and beads, this heart pendant will capture your (and everyone else's) attention.


Soap Rehab
A Complete Valentine's Day Bath Intervention! Celebrate with Champagne and Chocolates... This is a Trio of bath and body products in the Tiny Bubbles and Chocoholic scents. A great Valentine's Day gift for your sweetie, or a pampering gift to a friend or yourself! Get Clean, Relax, and Soothe your skin.


Gem Heaven
A gorgeous hammered heart pendant with a beautiful moonstone set in it. Put on a sterling silver ball chain, oxidised and hand~polished, to create this organic but simply beautiful pendant.


Lazy T Crochet
A mixed blend of soft, white, fluffy yarns crocheted in a simply soft button scarf. Adorned with two red heart buttons, this makes a fun accessory for Valentine's Day or any day.


BBesigns
"It is the things in common that make relationships enjoyable, but it is the little differences that make them interesting." What a great quote to send a to that special person in your life just to say "I Love You" or "Happy Valentine's Day"!


ZenBreeze
Beneath falling cherry blossom petals, Buddha, or perhaps a zen Buddhist monk, sits in meditation. This is a monochrome piece, done in shades of green. This mystical landscape is offered as a fine art pendant, hand crafted from original artwork. Suitable for a man or a woman!


Bellflower Textiles
This pencil rolls are soft fabric rolls, made from the highest quality 100% cotton. Each roll contains 12 pockets just perfect for any size pencil, pen, or marker. Slide in your favorites and then roll and tie with the attached ribbon. Perfect to throw in your backpack, purse, or even to keep in your car for inspiration on the go.


Mama Mayborne Designs
These beauties are perfect for your sweetheart or yourself! These Graphic Heart Earrings are made of handmade, fine silver heart charms and handmade sterling silver earwires.


44th Street Fabric
One yard of pink Andilucia "Flora" fabric by Patty Young, 1 yard of pink "Sis Boom" fabric by Jennifer Paganelli, and 1 yard of pink "Ta Dot" fabric from Michael Miller, a fantastic combination.


The Pink Samurai
♥ Probably the most asked question in the Etsy forums is brought to life! If you want to make a cute little heart then follow the button!


Tamdoll
"Home is Where the Heart Is"
Feelings will be loud and clear when this pendant is worn by a loved one - your mom, spouse, significant other, birdhouse lover, quilter, even your realtor!


Winchell Clay Works
Here is a pair of scrollwork hearts in red, glazed on front and back. They measure 2 cm x 1.5 cm, just the right size for earrings or a charm bracelet.


Mufi
Rose Quartz Briolette Earrings - Lovely briolettes of faceted Rose Quartz dangle from delicately detailed sterling silver chain and a simply satisfying sterling ear hook.


Art Lady Manor
Do you need Valentine cards for your child to exchange at school or daycare? For a unique Valentine card, have your child's picture put on a valentine card that I specifically designed for children's Valentine exchanges. (Two designs are available.)


Tamara Garvey Illustration
This is a signed print of my original pen-and-ink illustration. It is archivally printed onto matte, acid-free 11" x 17" paper, a perfect size for framing!


Linda B's Jewelry Designs
Get your valentine a beaded love letter necklace. Show her you love her.


Ambient Lights
Hair and Body Mist with Aloe and Vitamin E and Soap Pouf: Soap Poufs are made with high quality glycerin Goats Milk Hand and Body Soap and a nylon shower pouf.


Rhodes Annals Designs
Knit in gorgeously soft luxury wool in 2 shades of burgundy/red, this hot water bottle cover has a split at the back for easy access to the bottle. The ribbed neck allows access to the bottle top (and hides the ugly neck.)


A Cagey Bee
With so many of us opting for email over the traditional letter, I'm always extra tickled when I do get a personal note in the mail. I think this girl and her bunny feel the same way as they excitedly check the mailbox.


Part 1 of our Gift Guide is HERE.

Etsy Twitter Team Valentine Gift Guide: Part 1

Welcome to our first Valentine's Day Gift Guide! We have a lot of team members so I am splitting this up into a few parts. Happy shopping!!

Geek Details

She loved her uber dork and wanted to show him in a meaningful romantic way. Flowers weren't his thing though and neither were chocolates. She knew she'd have to speak his language for him to really understand how she felt about him. Just saying "I love you" wouldn't work. So she sat down and created a true work of love...

RoseBushDesigns

Want to show someone you care? Done in hues of greens and browns, this card does just that. The front flap tucks just under the flowered flap. It is blank inside for you to write your own thoughts.

In My Head Studios
Wear a tiny original collage around your neck featuring real lace and cute little hearts!

Rocki's Supplies

I hand form each heart with love and Sterling Silver, solder close, hammer lovingly for sparkling texture then tumble polish for added strength and shine.

Jenco13

This beautiful crochet scarf is so soft - you’re going to love the material!!

BabyCakes1011
Show your Valentine how much you love him or her with one of our Valentine's Day Gift Boxes. Inside there will be a dozen Death by Chocolate Truffles, A Velvet Resolution CupCake enough to share, and a dozen Vanilla Marshmallows cut in hearts and dipped in Red Sugar, and last but not least... there will be a little stuffed animal or heart, our choice.

Beadbug

A Beadbug original - the modern version of a wonderful vintage bead - usually made with glass or Lucite. Vintage sugar beads were popular in the 1950's and were made in Japan.

Alexis Art & Design
Romantic & sweet lovebirds Valentine print. Birds are one of the few animals who often stay together forever. This Valentine's day, show your significant other you really care.
(Print only - listing does not include frame)


Don't Know Publishing
"Be Mine" ACEO - A watercolor of a red heart outlined with glitter. A blue\green background. On watercolor paper. Actual painting.


Get Happy
Here is one of my new Valentine tags, made from vintage "Snapshot" game cards. The card measures 3"x4" and are made from heavy chipboard. They are the actual game cards, not copies, and one of a kind!


Liv'nGood Jewelry
Green with envy isn't always a bad thing - especially when it's other people envious of your new earrings. Combining brass keys with watch gears and internal workings, these resin earrings are completely unique and one of a kind.


Joslin Jewels
A plump rose quartz teardrop captured in a net of sterling silver adorned with tiny blue, green, and pink tourmaline flowers. The pendant hangs from a sterling silver chain finished with a tiny pink tourmaline flower drop.


KnittingGuru
You'll look devastating in this sexy lace and ribbon shawl. The inspiration came from garments worn by ladies during the Victorian period. It's a combination of innocence and sensuality that has eternal appeal.


Pasaii Paperie
The design is hand embroidered on cross-stitch fabric and then turned into a pendant. The silver plated back of the pendant is attached to a delicate sterling silver chain (18").


Beladonna Jewels

This beautiful necklace is Vintage Inspired.

Featuring a gold plated 14mm ring from which a key, locket charm, and an acrylic turquoise bead charm strung onto a long gold plated chain and finished with a lobster clasp closure.

Paw & Claw Designs

The heart is textured by hand with various hammers and punches, then polished to a gleaming mirror like shine.


Jack and Ella

Adorned with a 10mm AB siam (red) crystal heart and a silvertone skeleton key, this choker is made of 1/2" wide velvet ribbon featuring the word in elegant script: Beloved


Beautiful Bridget

This gorgeous cowl is so perfect for those late night walks with the one you love....

Jewel Craft Designs

This versatile piece can be worn with jeans or your little black dress. The circles at the center of the lariat create a nice focal point.


Herban Lifestyle
This versatile oil can be used as a massage oil, or as a skin-softening addition to your bath. The soothing tones of lavender, and the earthy herbaceous scents of clary sage and blue chamomile will help smooth away your cares.


Kitts Krafts
Here is a good lasting note book to add to your valentines gifts. Made from a NECCO sweethearts candy box.


kittyanydots
I call this print "the most beautiful dream."

Stay tuned for more great gift ideas for your loved ones!