International Women’s Day: Open Letter

International Women’s Day is on the 8 March every year: It is a day that celebrates the economic, political and social achievements of women past, present and future. At this time many events happen across the world and I wanted to use this opportunity to reach out to all the young girls and women who believe they have to change who they are to be like somebody else. This is not true. You are perfect just as you are. However you have to believe it and see it for yourself. Knowing who you are is a journey; be kind to yourself, have patience and listen to yourself by developing your self-awareness, self-acceptance and self-love. 

You can be like those you admire, though rather than looking solely at how they look (their external) go beyond to see their greatness and in turn yours. I want to be like… is dedicated to you.

I want to be like…

I want to be like Rosa Parks, her actions, courage and integrity created a butterfly effect that helped change history.

I want to be like Oprah Winfrey, her past is part of her present, which she acknowledges though she never allowed it to hinder or define her future. She created and is still creating and manifesting her life, her world, touching and helping many along the way, by just being herself.

I want to be like Bonnie Greer. There is power in her wisdom and strength in her words that seem to tap into my soul and click my brain to see a new perspective. The “fierce physics of a soothing fire" are words that fit when I think of Bonnie Greer. 

I want to be like Marianne Williamson, she captured my indescribable feelings and made the unknown known in Our Deepest Fears. I also want to write words that have the power to resonate, inform and impact.

I want to be like artists such as Alicia Keys, Jennifer Hudson, India Arie and Jill Scott,  who although acknowledge "sex sells" in their industry, exude sexiness through their meaningful words and by always looking classy.

I want to be like Iyanla Vanzant whose books enabled me to look through my own rubbish and clear out my basement. Invited me to acknowledge In the meantime is the best time to work on self and by understanding my patterns, I can break the cycle and make Peace from Broken Pieces. She enabled me to empower myself. There is work to be done and it starts with us, you and I.

I want to be like Beverly Ellis, Dr Isha Mavinga Mckenzie and other black women in the field of psychology making a difference through their research. I owe my First Class degree to them but the impact on my personal development is classless.

I want to be like Ava DuVernay, Zena Tuitt, Simone Bresi-Ando, Natasha Stewart, Akua Gyamfi, Lorraine Russell and all my friends and acquaintances who are trail blazing entrepreneurs, creating and making it happen on their terms without limitations because they believe in themselves, their ideas and their worth.

I want to be like those I have mentioned because essentially they are all doers and change makers in their own right, who have made an impact on me and I'm sure many others whilst walking their path and learning on the way.

I admire them but I do not want to morph into them. I respect them and I am proud of their achievements but more importantly I am able to see myself and my own possibilities when I look at them. I am striving to be all that I am, rather than a second rate somebody else and I invite you to do the same in order to step into YOUR greatness.

Identify who you admire or want to be like and process in-depth reasons why, as this gives clues as to where you are at and potentially ideas on your own journey, passions and interests. Then begin to change I want to be like... to My Name is (insert name) and I AM (Insert statement).

I AM is so much more powerful than I want to be like. Find you and be the best YOU!

Sometimes by showing  the way, others are able to see their way. I hope my expressions have made you think. Have fun finding you, inside of you. 

My name is Lisa Bent and I believe in Self-Central 

 "If you are going to morph into anyone, then morph into the higher aspect of yourself"#Self-Central

© Lisa Bent 2013

Honour Yourself

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”~By Marianne Willamson

Our Deepest Fears by Marianne Williamson was introduced to me years ago by my counsellor when I was training to become a counsellor. She gave it to me as a gift on our last session and it was the best gift I could have ever received. As I read it tears began to stream down my face. It resonated with me but why? It explained what was before the un-explainable.  I had always wondered why my attitude to life was  like a rusty car. I started well in all projects but then started  stopped , started, stopped and so on and so on. This fears hit the nail on the head for me. This junted flow was caused by seeing how good I was at something. It sounds so silly but seeing and feeling my potential in the things I do used to scare me and I used to crawl back into my tortoise shell, only to come out again at a later date.  It’s an ongoing battle. The most recent example I can give is when I interviewed Rhian Benson and Omarion for Self-Central. It was a new concept and these two guests were my first . As you can see from the footage hits and comments on Youtube it went well, but you will also see that there hasn’t been another interview since. I could name the following excuses… “Artists are so hard to lock down”,” I work full-time and getting the cameraman and artists schedules to sync  is difficult” whilst this is the truth, the real reason is in the moment I was happy, I loved what I was doing, it fit and made sense. Watching it back blew me away and it scared the hell out of me at the same time. Seeing myself on camera is a weird sensation  it is a real time reflection of who I am, how I am and how I interact with people. All of this is great but it still led me to crawl back into my shell again.

It’s frustrating, upsetting and I am aware of it, which means I have to make my decisions in the moment away from habit and old patterns of behaving. Yes I am a counsellor, yes I know exactly what I am doing most of the time, but I am human and the journey of learning never stops. None of us are perfect. You are the driver of your life, it’s okay to change speeds but the most important thing that I have learnt is to never stop. Once you stop, it becomes harder to reeve up the engine again and pick up where you left off. I however do not regret anything, it is what it is and each day I use my knowledge to make better choices. The tortoise won the race in the end.

If you are scared of something, check with yourself whether it is the fear, the fear of seeing who you really are, or the beauty of seeing who you are. If you look in the mirror and do not like yourself there is work to be done. If you look in the mirror and love your external self, though lost in your internal self, there is work to be done. Regardless of where you are at, there is always work to do, to be a better you. This is your right. Honour your passions, your gift, your dreams and see where it takes you. You have them for a reason.

© Lisa Bent 2012

Silent River

                                                               Photograph: 'Silent River.' Source:soul catcher studio

Dear Readers, 




Its been 4 months since my last blog. Where has the time gone? 


The work life balance hasn't been achieved at all and on top of that the inspiration to write hasn't been present, so this has been quiet time for me. My mum has always said "It's not everything you see you must say" wise words for twitter but not so wise for Deeper than Twitter as a lot of my expressions are triggered by observing the actions and expressions of others and aiming to show a different thought path. However through this quiet time I have realised how much more energy I have, so taking a break was probably what I needed. 



Iwas also aware that I was becoming frustrated with commenting on similar themes/topics/trends because it made me question how far have we really progressed? The old complaints, issues are still present they just appear in different forms and I find this slightly disappointing.




My ability to see the hope and light in everything seemed to have been missing and replaced with the heightened visibilty of injustice and (excuse my French) bulls**t, which I seemed to see in all its ugly glory, politics, media spin and more of the same. 



Naturally things change, this is a given. Every minute is different from the last, even though we may not feel it and like a river on a calm day which appears to be still, is still flowing. Hindsight is a beautiful thing and so is awareness I never want this blog to be a moaning one, so yes time-out was needed.

In regards to progression, does society make people or do people make society? It's the latter and so if society is to get better people's awareness of self and others need to move forward. In the deeper than Twitter quiet time, I have finally set up my website for Self-Central. The aim is to nudge individuals into their own self- exploration. Society changes for the better in my eyes, when each individual does their bit. Who we are is central to everything; how we treat ourselves, how we allow others to treat us, how we behave, how we react and respond, everything starts with us and I believe if we were all more aware about why we do and say the things we do,our dynamics and interactions with others would be so much better and healthier.











People who feel whole within themselves would not need to seek what they need from others, need material things to make them feel better, or drugs and alcohol to block out the pain or temporarily solve the problem. Self-responsibilty and the power to be all that you are is achievable, it's a working progress but we all just need to believe it and be willing to put the work in.

Have a look and I hope something resonates with you for what you need right now. To see the change outside, start inside. You may have to be a silent river to achieve it.

As always thanks for your time.








Kindest

Lisa






© Lisa Bent 2012